


Sperpes™

by Kylo Hux (Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 2am writing, Crack, Crack Taken Too Seriously, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 11:16:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5965282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson/pseuds/Kylo%20Hux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't have unprotected sex with Rathtars, kids.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sperpes™

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to [kylofucker](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cozmopolitan/pseuds/kylofucker) for taking my joke and making it into a 1am meme

Kylo didn’t realise it at first.  
  
He didn’t understand why he was shivering so badly, wrapped tightly in his usual clothes – his usual clothes that normally kept him too warm and caused him to break out in a soft sweat – _nothing_ like the one he was currently sporting, sweat dripping down his back and rolling off his forehead as though his body were in a race against itself to dehydrate.  
  
He didn’t understand why he had such painful blisters around his groin, making walking painful. His robes bunched up around them, making them break – causing them to weep, which in turn, caused his robes to stick to them – which made undressing at the end of the day a serious issue.  
  
He didn’t understand why his back ached something hideous, pain shooting up and down his spine, dancing through his nerves and up his spinal cord as though it were a damn ballet. He could barely stand up straight in front of the Supreme Leader, he couldn’t sit straight opposite General Hux, and he couldn’t lay down at night.  
  
Kylo Ren didn’t understand anything at all, until it started to burn when he pissed. He finally realised, as he tried not to howl out in pain.  
  
He’d contracted Sperpes™.

**Author's Note:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
